Mostly-Mommy

I’m just gonna lay it out for you. Two kids, both with the stomach flu.

Have you stopped screaming yet? Me either but let’s continue anyway.

It began in the wee hours of Monday morning when Mike thought he broke the baby. This is the first time she has ever vomited properly so he freaked out just a little. Nick was soon to follow. I made it through the night with almost three hours of sleep.

Monday we were swimming in drowning in overtaken by vomit from both of the babies. You know, the only thing sadder than a puking six-month-old baby is a six-month-old baby with the dry heaves. You know what else? A six-month-old baby girl is fully capable of barfing on you so much at once that you will be soaked all the way through your pajamas and your underwear. Five times in one day. Also? A two-year-old has no control over the trajectory of his vomit and will cover every surface in your home with it if given enough time, and a day is plenty of time.

Zoey had one last magnificent yak last night before bed and seems to be done in that department. But now she has diarrhea, so there’s that. Nick lasted until 5am and then seemed to quit, until he had one last hurrah on my bed this afternoon. But both of them are still cranky, lethargic, and don’t want to eat or drink. It is starting to feel like they will never be well again after two days of puke, after nine loads of laundry, after my high-energy ornery boy can’t even stay conscious long enough for a goodnight kiss. These kids are breaking my heart.

Yes babies, there is room on this lap for both of you. 

The weather in these parts has been a bit nasty lately which led to a pretty sedate weekend for us. We did venture out on Saturday for a quick run to the grocery store and to drop Nick off at Grandma Sarah’s house for a night away. To be fair though, I think we would have hitched Roscoe and the cats up to a sled if we had to for one night of single-kiddedness. We love that boy to bits but there is a constant level of chaos while he’s around so occasionally we need some time apart. Thanks mom!

We had a very peaceful evening on Saturday unless you count the movie we decided to watch, “Pan’s Labyrinth.” Let me just lay it all out for you: disturbing, gory, disturbing, gory, sad, gory, gory, disturbing, scary, gory, sad. Still wanna see it? No you don’t. Visually interesting but just not worth it in my opinion. I should have known better about this one after my Hispanic Film class. Every time I see a Spanish movie I vow that it will be the last… maybe next time I’ll stick to my guns like I have with Japanese movies. I know, I’m a movie racist but I just can’t help it. I am too sensitive for the typical Spanish or Japanese movies — I don’t want to see some girl vomit in a bowl and make a guy drink it. I get enough of that with the cats.

Anyhoo, today Mike picked up the young man who was less than thrilled to come home. He has no idea what this week has in store for him. Ice storm of the century on the way! Home bound for days! Pray for us all. Mostly me though.

Last night Nick woke up constantly and I lay in bed with him until about 1am. He kept startling awake and crying but we could never figure out exactly what was hurting him. And then there was Zoey. Bottom line, I got almost five hours of extremely broken sleep last night so today I am T-I-R-E-D.

And then there is Today. Today is the first snowstorm of the season so outside is beautiful, but good to be inside under heavy blankets. Nick is doing just that because today he is Sick. This boy takes after me and tends to be a bit on the… dramatic side so things around here are pretty pitiful. We tried to watch “Ratatouille” but the sight of that poor wet rat clinging to the cookbook while being hurtled through the sewer pipes proved too much for the young man to handle. He has a tender little heart, that one.

As much as I wanted to lay around in my pajamas today we had to venture out in the snow this morning to get to Zoey’s 6-month check-up. She’s growing beautifully (almost 18 pounds and 27 inches) and is very healthy. That’s the good news. The bad news is that no matter how much I ADORE their pediatrician I still have to watch her staff like a frickin hawk. A hawk on meth. Today they were clearly short staffed and it took an HOUR AND A HALF to get done with the appointment. Plus the lady giving the vaccinations tried to get me to sign a release that WASN’T EVEN FILLED OUT. I did not do that. I made her check the chart for what was to be given, then check the syringes to make sure the correct things were there. Guess what? Yeah, she had to go swap one of them out because apparently we are total freaks for not giving our kids Hepatitis B vaccinations. I find it very sad that it is just standard now. In fact she was shocked because I didn’t have a shot record. “Didn’t they give you one at the hospital when she was born?” Um… no, because we didn’t let them give her any shots! I can get past all this because I know it is my job to police them even though I wish I didn’t have to. What I don’t forgive is when she was giving one of the vaccinations she blew apart the syringe and needle. Almost all of it was in her already but I find that pretty inexcusable since all it takes is a little twist of the needle to keep that from happening. I understand being short staffed but I do not think that should cause any compromise in patient care, at most things should just take longer (which they did anyway). Mike was none too thrilled about this experience either and I have a feeling the appropriate people might be hearing about it.

The funny thing is that we were there for Zoey’s appointment but Nick is the one who ended up with a prescription and a referral to a Pediatric Orthopedist. We’ve got some work to do on his poor toes but in time they’ll be fine. I’ll let you know what happens when we see the other guy — hopefully it will go well too! I’m just looking forward to finally getting his feet and legs looked at professionally because the “wait and see” approach can only take you so far.

All right, that’s all for now. Unless you want to hear the one about Nick finding the condom in the sandbox at the park a couple days ago? No, I didn’t think so.

Zoey got me up seven times last night with pitiful, hysterical crying.

Nick had his first Time Out at 7:45am for throwing a phone book at my head.

Currently Zoey is crying and clawing at me while she nurses, and Nick is throwing his train track around and is naked from the waist down. Roscoe is wearing Nick’s diaper as a hat.

Do you think things have already peaked for the day or have they only just begun?