Mostly-Mommy

I haven’t done a post of the bizarro searches that get people here in a while so I think now’s the time. My searches for boob-related content have been drastically reduced since I haven’t been breastfeeding, which leaves plenty of room for these beauties:

tomorrow will be great — Yes! The power of positive thinking!

computers internet blog — Hmmm, vague. Good luck with that.

i would like too no if a tetanus shot can be given in the butt — If they give you one then I’m going to say yes.

mommy i had an accident — If you’re old enough to type that then you’re probably old enough to take care of it yourself dude.

dog is now peeing everywhere our toddler goes what can i do — Be thankful that damn dog is finally toilet trained.

we were never so blessed as the day you were born — I may cry a little.

is it ok for kids to eat uncooked pasta? — Okay, but probably bad for their teeth.

is sourdough bread okay to give to cats? — They really only like it with butter and a thin layer of mascarpone, if you have some handy.

what is a peacock scared of — Ooh, I know, I know!

zoey breastfeeding — Not anymore, hallelujah!

congragulations to new mothers –Well thanks!

putting you on notice — Totally. ALL of you.

hippies motto — I bet they’re too lazy to have one. Or it may be this.

enema from mommy — NO THANK YOU.

katie karr nude — Yeehaw! I have arrived!

baby’s daddy is tall — I hear that.

boob job causing flesh wound? — Oh my. I hope to never know anything about that.

And without further ado my number one most searched for term: anti montessori. Guess I’m getting a bit of a reputation.

Last night was a momentous occasion for me. BOTH CHILDREN spent the night at my mom’s house.

BOTH CHILDREN.

We had a completely childless night, people. We at dinner at Blue Koi, watched an extremely loud movie, and yelled randomly just because we could. We went to bad late and slept in. We leisurely read the newspaper without anyone stealing parts of it or yelling at us. Mike worked on his computer at the dining room table (that may not seem like such a big deal but trust me, it is a VERY big deal to have all those small, vulnerable pieces all spread out in a large workspace without having to worry about their safety).

In short, it was AWESOME.

This commercial is so great, and with the way my children have been behaving today… PERFECT.

Watching the Inauguration I was very surprised to find that I was crying. Holding my two babies in my arms and watching their world become a better place, a more peaceful place, I sang the national anthem and cried. Nick smacked me in the mouth and told me not to sing but I did anyway.

Oh hai there! Pardon my absence, I was away for a week in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona soaking up some sunshine and decidedly NOT missing the single-digit week back home. Instead there was a whole lot of this going on:

Oranges that we picked. From a tree. In the back yard. Madness.

And even more of this:

And unfortunately more than I would prefer of this:

T.I.R.E.D.

But this, THIS:

My Holyland.

Nice hat, Carmen.

Did you know that at IKEA they have Smalland? A FREE place you can stash your kids for a couple hours while you shop? If I lived in Phoenix I swear I’d be there twice a week ditching the kids and napping on one of their stylish yet functional sofabeds.

We also went out for some lovely, lovely dates. In fact, we pretty much ran screaming from the house every chance we got. The Grandparents wanted to see the kids right? (Got Zoey all weaned too due to the frequent abandonments at bedtime, thanks Grandparents!) One night we went to Fashion Center and ate at Hot Dog on a Stick (Veggie Dog on a Stick for me) then saw Twilight and… um… it was funny. I didn’t exactly expect Oscar gold but I would think they would have hired actual actors or a screenwriter or something. It was just… funny. And you know what? We had a FABULOUS time. Alone. Without children.

Between IKEA and Trader Joe’s, sunshine, hiking Squaw Peak, dinners poolside, fruit trees — I had to throw in the towel. I’m done, cooked. Time to go back to Winter for a while.