Mostly-Mommy

Lately Nick is into giving a “toes up” just like on Seinfeld years ago although he has never seen that episode, also I believe that was “giving the toe” as opposed to “giving the finger.” I like Nick’s version better I guess. Especially because a few days ago Zoey actually gave me the finger, but she was just babbling about something while she did it so I’m pretty sure she wasn’t actually GIVING me the finger. It was one of those MANY times lately when I just look away and try not to giggle. Just like at Christmas when Nick said “Holy shit that was some good food!”

Aaaaaaand back to the point. Toes up. And we were talking about how each hand and foot have five digits when Nick ran out of the room and came back with this:

Is geniusOMG.

He is not even five years old yet. He is blowing my mind. I might as well just send him off to college.

“You need to clean the receiver ’cause it is covered in baking soda.” (also commonly known as “dust”)

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Leans in close, whispers in my ear, “You’re my superhero.”

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“Ow, OW my HEEL hurts! You need to call the surgery.”

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Mike: “I want a kiss.”

Nick: “NO! I want some candy.”

*****

Nick’s teacher, Mrs.Donna: “God made us all to…”

Nick: “God didn’t make me!”

Mrs.Donna: “Well if God didn’t make you then how did you get here?”

Nick: “I got made by SPERM!”

Lately something has been getting under my skin. A thing like so many of the other things children do, but this one just annoys me to no end.

Nick talks about “Bad Guys” ALL THE FRIGGING TIME. And most of it involves bizarre, nonsensical questions. For example:

“Does the Bad Guy like to put lightbulbs in his mouth?”

“Is that the Bad Guy sandwich?”

“I love you Mommy, you’re a Bad Guy.”

Is this a boy thing or what? Mom and Dad, did I do this when I was little? If so I am SO SORRY and seriously I need to take you out to lunch and apologize. Also maybe for the spitting. Oh god, don’t even get me started on the spitting.

(Also, alas and alack, we did not win the costume contest. Meh. The grand prize winner was some kid dressed up as a piece of salmon sushi so that was actually pretty good. But the runners up had like a LADYBUG and a FLOWER and a PIRATE and crap? Come on. Their voting process seems a little fishy to me, though maybe it’s the salmon roll I’m smelling.)

Nick: I can do so many wonderful SCIENCE experiments in the bathtub with soap, water and PEE!

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And in other news, if it wasn’t late it wouldn’t be me — new pictures are up at Karrmedia.

Nick: You made a BAD decision! You need to get in Time Out! (Oh yes, please. Can I also take a nap?)

Zoey: Little Miss Mommmmmmmy!

Nick: When Daddy’s not here I’M the boss!

There are so many others, but who can remember with all the other things floating around in the rusty tin can I call a brain these days? I’ll just leave you with this, my 16-year-old with her ePod (no, not a typo, that’s actually what she calls it. Also she can turn it on all by herself ohmygod):