Mostly-Mommy

Oh, dear friends, do I have something to tell you about… but it hasn’t happened yet. So instead I’m going to tell you about a trip we took to Illinois a few weeks ago for my Uncle’s birthday and spent some time visiting Grandpa Randy and Grandma Liane.

It was a very laid back trip filled with walks down country roads, picking (and eating) things from the garden, and unseasonably chilly August winds.

My dad calls them “Children of the Corn.”

We took a ride on a train at the Monticello Railroad Museum. Totally made Nick’s year.

And then there was this. Can you imagine a kid so lucky? One of the joys of a small town.

We usually visit in the fall so it was nice to see all the flowers blooming and tall, TALL fields of corn. When Mike and I went running we felt like we were on a treadmill.

I’m very tired now and the dose of Valerian I took a bit ago is wearing heavily upon my ability to type or think clearly. I had a fantastic video to put at the end here but I can’t seem to work my computer right now so I’ll get to it later, promise. Goodnight!

Last week we took a trip up to Omaha with my mom and left the Babydaddy home to install quarter round in our bedroom. Win!

We spent some time playing around downtown (and I had the sunburn to show for it, meh) went to the Durham Museum, then checked into our hotel for some swimming. It is truly amazing the beating I took from my children while in that pool. Later we went to the Upstream Brewery for dinner which is pretty friendly to the little ones I must say. Or maybe it was the “brewery” part that was plenty friendly to me!

The next morning we ate the hell out of our complementary breakfast and headed out to the Henry Doorly Zoo. While driving down the highway my mom said, “Why does Zoey keep saying there’s a boy on the roof?” I found out moments later when my mom looked back at me with terror in her eyes — “Okay, don’t freak out,” she says to me. GUESS WHAT I DID. Just take a wild guess what happened when I whipped my head around to look at my headrest and the gigantic, flying, STINGING monster perched atop it. Thankfully my mom knows not to let an explosively terrified person such as myself stare THAT in the face for too long and pulled over on the shoulder. Turns out “Boy on the roof” = “Hideous insect on your headrest.” Who knew? They should give you some sort of translation manual with your kid. Hey, at least she tried to warn me.

Anyhoo, after that the day HAD to get better right? And it did! The Omaha zoo is AMAZING. It deserves every one of those capitol letters, people. AMAZING.

The Desert Dome

Inside the Desert Dome were these creatures, I don’t remember what they were called but they reminded me of fat lapdogs. They were high up on the cliffs:

So I’m looking up there and I am SURE those things are stuffed. Completely motionless, staring at some random fixed point, looking completely apathetic. A Zookeeper came by and I asked her if they were alive. She assured me they were then repeatedly clapped her hands and yelled at them. NOTHING. I’m still not sure I believe her.

The Desert Dome was amazing up top but when you got down below, deep in the depths of the Night Kingdom… wow. There is an entire swamp down there with alligators and everything. Just wow. And don’t get me started on the aquarium with the tube you walk through. I might have to go live there. I would stay in the Cat Complex, because seriously could there be a more perfect name?

Hila Monsters are just so darn huggable!

Nick and my mom rode the train but Zoey and I hung back, mostly from the terrified screeching “NOOOOO! I scary! I scary!” She rode the carousel instead.

The next picture is probably my favorite. We were watching the Peacocks tending to their adorable little Peacock babies darting in and out of the Prairie Dog holes when I noticed a little something else going on over on the other side of the hill.

Yes, dear friends, that is a vulture eviscerating and nomming a dead rat. This zoo is very educational!

I can’t leave you with that so here is a cute picture of the four of us enjoying an old-timey chocolate malt at the museum. Awww! Aren’t we cute!

(BTW, new pics up at Karrmedia!)

I’ve been putting off writing about the Fabulous Child-Free Weekend we had a couple weeks ago because, honestly, is there anything sadder than reading about someone else’s fantastic vacation from the comfort of your very own couch? Is it just me? Well I’m going to write about it anyway because I’ve been asked to but feel free to skip this post if you’re bitterly in need of a vacation like I am most of the time.

*****

I’ll start with Friday evening, the official start of our Fabulous Child-Free Weekend (thanks mom, Bob and Karsen!)

First off we checked into our hotel, the Intercontinental on the Plaza. From the sixth floor we had a lovely view of a parking lot, unless I angled the camera like this:

The room was very nice and comfortable, very modern. And I was so impressed to find our little friend, the elusive African Towel Elephant.

Next it was Happy Hour at the Melting Pot! Super yum. Especially the chocolate fondue. Afterwords you should really fast for a week but it’s worth it.

Later we saw They Might Be Giants at the Beaumont because I WON tickets from KTBG! Can I just plug them for a moment because they totally rock. Seriously awesome music and they do great concert tickets as well. You! Turn your radio to 90.9 right now! Okay, now drive to Kansas City so you can listen to this station, you won’t regret it. And bring me a sandwich while you’re at it.

One dude on accordion, the other on bass drum. So cool.

So here’s something weird. The VIP area where we were is called the Capitol Federal Top Spot. Capitol Federal is my BANK. MY BANK sponsors part of a bar. Does anyone else think that’s weird?

Saturday morning we slept in then lazed around reading our complimentary copy of the KC star and drinking coffee maker coffee until we couldn’t take it any more. We showered and headed out to breakfast at the Classic Cup where I finished the crossword AND the sudoku puzzle because I am a dork, a dork with some time on her hands. Afterwords we had a bona fide Celebrity Sighting!

Hey, it’s Gary Lezak and Breezy! Yes I went all paparazzi and snapped pictures of him out of the car window. What, it’s not like I see him EVERY DAY or anything.

After Mike died of embarassment I slid over to the driver’s seat and took us to the movies. Star Trek to be exact, which we found to be awesome.

Later we stopped into Latte Land, Land of All That is Right and Good in the World, for some spro. Out the window there were some ridiculous shenannigans going on. Mike, having just been revived, died again of embarassment as I openly pointed and laughed at Syssiphus across the street.

See him there, on the left? You know, the one pulling the huge tire on the chain?

I was like, dudes, I can give you some REAL work to do over at my house. Something a little more productive than swinging a ball on a rope at the side of a brick wall. How about instead of flipping over some huge tire over and over again you can come and paint my damn house?

Anyhoo, later we swam in the hotel’s lovely pool, ate dinner at Ted’s Montana Grill which was pretty tasty, then took advantage of the hotel’s limited cable. Cesar Millan, you rock my world.

Sunday morning we slept in, showered, and picked up our kiddos. It was good to see them, I actually missed the little pains-in-the-patoot. Now who’s keeping them next weekend?

Oh hai there! Pardon my absence, I was away for a week in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona soaking up some sunshine and decidedly NOT missing the single-digit week back home. Instead there was a whole lot of this going on:

Oranges that we picked. From a tree. In the back yard. Madness.

And even more of this:

And unfortunately more than I would prefer of this:

T.I.R.E.D.

But this, THIS:

My Holyland.

Nice hat, Carmen.

Did you know that at IKEA they have Smalland? A FREE place you can stash your kids for a couple hours while you shop? If I lived in Phoenix I swear I’d be there twice a week ditching the kids and napping on one of their stylish yet functional sofabeds.

We also went out for some lovely, lovely dates. In fact, we pretty much ran screaming from the house every chance we got. The Grandparents wanted to see the kids right? (Got Zoey all weaned too due to the frequent abandonments at bedtime, thanks Grandparents!) One night we went to Fashion Center and ate at Hot Dog on a Stick (Veggie Dog on a Stick for me) then saw Twilight and… um… it was funny. I didn’t exactly expect Oscar gold but I would think they would have hired actual actors or a screenwriter or something. It was just… funny. And you know what? We had a FABULOUS time. Alone. Without children.

Between IKEA and Trader Joe’s, sunshine, hiking Squaw Peak, dinners poolside, fruit trees — I had to throw in the towel. I’m done, cooked. Time to go back to Winter for a while.